Monday, February 27, 2012

"I am preparing you for more"

I recently traveled to Haiti with Visiting Orphans for an experience of loving, serving and spending precious time with various ministry leaders and children. Throughout my time there and as I have had a chance to reflect upon my time there, I have realized that through many situations I heard God repeatedly say "Kari, I am preparing you for more".

My team and I spent two days in Port-Au-prince working with, Well Being Orphanage. These children recently moved into a building and they were previously living and sleeping out of tents. We met the most fascinating women who began this orphanage. She is in poor health, has already lost one leg and while we were there we heard that there was a possibility that she would soon lose her other leg. One thing that I have always noticed from my time in Africa, is the sheer joy these individuals have, no matter what their experiences have been. This women had a heart of gold and continues to choose to love and give deeply even though her physical health presents limitations.


We then jumped into some little planes to fly off into the mountains of Pignon! This is where God really began to speak to my heart. This is where my heart fell in love and then broke into pieces. This is where I met Rudy!



Many of you know the story of Rudy from following me on Facebook. Rudy was brought to Haiti Home of Hope on clinic day. Jennifer provides a  milk and formula program for mothers and babies. Rudy was on the brink of death when his mother brought him. God used Rudy in my life to stretch my faith so much and to truly increase my trust in the goodness of God. My time in Pignon was life-changing and I just want to give you a taste of the times that I heard God speak to me:

* Clinic day. Praying for the vulnerable, sweet women- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"
* Witnessing the witch doctor come foward and speak about desiring to come to God- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"

* Watching Jennifer and Bill sacrifice their own needs on a daily basis- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"
* Clinic day when Rudy and baby Amy were placed in our arms- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"
* Finding solace with God in the midst of the mountains and pain, wanting so badly to desire what His heart desires- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"
* As I made the choice to stay behind and help care for Rudy- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"

* Waking up in the night to care for Rudy- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"
* Rocking Rudy and feeling my heart fall in love- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"
* As plans kept changing in regards to who would care for Rudy- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"
* Leaving Rudy, heart-broken- "Kari, I am preparing you for more"

I love how God works, how He plans and how He loves. I have a sense for what the "more" is....but that will be another post :)


Saturday, February 18, 2012

In the Beginning....

7 yrs ago, I found myself on my face, sobbing, crying out for help. It was a very tiny whisper of help to God, but none the less, a cry for help. My heart and mind were in shambles and even though I wanted to reach out for God to pick me up, I was still very reserved that it would happen. You see, I knew God....well at least I thought I did. I had been in bible studies, leading my own bible studies, I had a mentor, went to a weekly worship gathering, so on and so forth. Yet, my heart had still never fully experienced God. Why would God want to rescue me? I had run away from Him. At times, hating Him for protecting me. Yet, all it took was that little whisper of faith....and my life has never looked the same.

Fast forward to just over a week ago. I had just returned home from Haiti. Once again, I found myself face down, tears streaming from my eyes. Yet, this time I was not crying out for help. I was crying out for more. My heart felt like it was literally going to burst from my chest. The ache was so deep. The love too great. I found myself desperately seeking God's face. 


I have learned through trials, heart-aches, sorrows and deep pain, that God is there through it all. I have learned that when I am nothing God can be everything. When I am at my weakest point, completely, utterly broken....God finds me the most beautiful. The more I am broken, the more beautiful God can be in my life. 
Join me on this broken journey. To seek beauty...genuine, authentic beauty.